Unbelievable.

Crime never stops. Neither does paperwork. And now, because Barry Allen is bad at basic tax law, I have to waste my time explaining why the IRS doesn’t care how fast you are—they only care if you pay them.

The Problem? He Thought Tips Were “Bonus Money”

Apparently, when he’s not saving Central City, The Flash moonlights as a delivery guy. Food, packages, high-speed courier services—anything that needs to be there in seconds, he’ll handle. And people tip him generously for it.

Here’s the issue:

• He thought tips were just extra cash and didn’t need to be reported.

• He assumed “cash tips” weren’t traceable. (Rookie mistake.)

• He never kept records. Not even a napkin with a scribbled total.

Now the IRS has questions. And The Flash has no answers.

The Penalties for Being Fast and Loose with Taxes

The IRS doesn’t care if you can outrun a speeding bullet. They care if you file correctly. Since Barry didn’t, here’s what he’s facing:

• Failure to report tips – The IRS assumes unreported income is intentional fraud. That’s a big problem.

• Self-employment taxes – He wasn’t withholding anything, so now he owes extra.

• Fines, interest, and possible audits – Because once they catch one mistake, they start looking for more.

And now? He’s scrambling to backtrack, digging through old bank statements, trying to piece together how much he actually made in tips. But the IRS isn’t on Flash Time. They move at their own pace—and that pace is painfully slow.

The Lesson (That Barry Should Have Learned Earlier)

I tried to warn him. I told him, “If you make money, the government wants their cut.” He didn’t listen. Now, instead of fighting supervillains, he’s fighting tax penalties.

Let this be a warning:

• Report your tips.

• Keep records.

• Don’t assume the IRS won’t notice.

Because in Gotham—or anywhere else—there’s one universal rule: The IRS always catches up. Even if you’re The Fastest Man Alive.