I knew this was going to happen.

The Justice League tried to file for 501(c)(3) nonprofit status. Apparently, someone (looking at you, Flash) thought it would be a great way to get tax-exempt donations to fund our operations. Less out-of-pocket spending. More resources for crime-fighting. Fewer arguments about why I should pay for everything.

Sounds good, right? Wrong.

The IRS denied us. Immediately. And here’s why.

1. “Charitable Organizations” Can’t Beat People Up

The IRS has very specific rules for what qualifies as a nonprofit.

• Charities? Yes.

• Educational programs? Yes.

• Superheroes dropping buildings on criminals? Not so much.

Apparently, the Justice League’s “direct action” crime-fighting methods don’t fit into their “public good” category. The IRS does not consider punching supervillains to be a tax-exempt activity.

I disagree.

2. We Don’t Have “Exclusively Charitable” Activities

To qualify for 501(c)(3) status, an organization has to be exclusively focused on charitable, religious, scientific, or educational purposes.

Here’s what the IRS had a problem with:

• Stopping alien invasions – Not a charity.

• Fighting crime without due process – Apparently “not in the spirit of nonprofit work.”

• Operating a space station (the Watchtower) with zero public access – They didn’t like that either.

Wonder Woman suggested we pivot to “hero education programs” to qualify. Green Arrow tried to argue that vigilantism is a public service. Neither worked.

3. We Can’t Claim Tax-Deductible Donations

One of the biggest benefits of nonprofit status? Tax-deductible donations.

• People donate to charity, they write it off on their taxes.

• The Justice League gets funding without me personally covering the bill.

• Everyone wins.

Except, the IRS isn’t buying it. They took one look at our expense reports and saw:

✔ Jet fuel for Batwing missions

✔ Alien containment cells

✔ Magical artifact retrieval operations

✔ A frankly unreasonable amount of money spent on Flash’s food bill

None of that qualifies as a charitable expense.

4. We’re Technically a Private Club

The IRS also rejected us for being “exclusive.”

• Nonprofits have to serve the general public.

• The Justice League only lets in superheroes.

• Apparently, “must have superpowers or specialized skills” is not an acceptable membership requirement.

I argued that we serve the public by saving the world on a weekly basis. The IRS didn’t care.

Final Thoughts

So, the Justice League remains a privately funded entity. No tax exemptions. No charitable deductions. Just me paying for everything while Superman acts like money doesn’t exist.

Fine. Whatever. I expected this.

But next year? I’m writing off every Batarang as a business expense. Let’s see the IRS argue with that.