Gotham is a city of crime, corruption, and—apparently—complex tax codes. You’d think a billionaire vigilante would have someone on payroll to remind him about municipal tax deadlines, but no. Even the Dark Knight can be caught off guard by the one villain he can’t punch: bureaucracy.

The Tax That Time Forgot

Last night, I was out in Gotham, dealing with Two-Face and his ridiculous 50-50 crime spree. Coin flips, heists, dramatic monologues—same old, same old. I get home, take off the cape, and check the Batcomputer for any pressing matters. And there it was: a polite but firm notice from the Gotham City Revenue Department.

“Your city tax return was due two weeks ago. Late penalties may apply.”

Great. Fantastic. I can take down the Joker, outwit the Riddler, and somehow still manage to forget to file city taxes.

Fighting Crime, Losing to Forms

You see, when you’re balancing a double life as a billionaire CEO and a nocturnal crimefighter, some things slip through the cracks. Wayne Enterprises has accountants, sure. But Batman? Turns out, Gotham’s municipal tax system doesn’t take Batarangs as currency.

Alfred tried to warn me.

“Sir, the due date is approaching. Perhaps you should—”

“Not now, Alfred. Killer Croc is tearing through the docks.”

Alfred sighed. Alfred always knows.

The True Cost of Vigilantism

Do you know what happens when you forget to file?

Late fees.

Penalties.

A strongly worded letter signed by someone named ‘Barbara from Accounting.’

Do you know how embarrassing it is to call the Gotham tax office and try to explain why you missed the deadline?

“Uh, hi. This is… Bruce Wayne. Yes. Totally Bruce Wayne. Not Batman.”

“Mr. Wayne, our records show you own seventeen properties, including an undisclosed cave system?”

“Oh. Uh. Yeah. That’s… a timeshare.”

“Sir, we also noticed a significant write-off labeled ‘bat-themed vehicle expenses.’”

“That was… a Halloween party.”

“Right. Please hold.”

Unlike federal and state taxes, many municipalities don’t automatically deduct city taxes from paychecks, meaning you might owe more than you realize when tax time rolls around. You think crime-fighting is stressful? Try realizing you owe a hefty sum to Gotham City because no one bothered to take it out of your pay.

The Takeaway

If I can forget, so can you. So here’s your friendly (grumpy) reminder: file your city taxes. Set a reminder. Let your butler handle it. Whatever it takes. Because no amount of crime-fighting will save you from the wrath of Barbara from Accounting.

And if you see me standing on a rooftop tonight, brooding harder than usual? It’s because I just paid a late penalty.

Stay vigilant, Gotham. And stay compliant.