Running the Justice League isn’t cheap. The Watchtower doesn’t pay for itself. Neither do the teleporters, the satellites, or the constant property damage every time we stop an alien invasion. And don’t even get me started on insurance—do you have any idea how much it costs to get liability coverage when one of your teammates can punch a hole in the moon?

For a long time, we handled finances the way we handle most things—by ignoring them until it became a crisis. Superman is too trusting, Wonder Woman thinks everything should be handled with honor (which is not how budgeting works), and Green Lantern tried to use his ring to “manifest” money (which is, in fact, counterfeiting). So, naturally, I had to step in.

But even I can’t do everything, which is why we finally hired a Fractional CFO—a part-time Chief Financial Officer to handle our financial mess without the commitment of a full-time hire.

And let me tell you… as much as I hate outsourcing, this was the right move.

Why We Needed a Fractional CFO (Even Though I Hate Admitting It)

1. Superheroes Are Bad with Money

We are great at saving the world. We are terrible at financial planning. Cyborg understands the numbers, but he’s also busy, you know, being a human supercomputer. Flash forgets everything the second he hears the word “budget.” And Aquaman? Do you think the guy who talks to fish knows anything about financial forecasting? (Hint: No.)

A fractional CFO brings actual expertise without us having to train them or pray that someone in our ranks suddenly develops an MBA.

2. We Need a Plan, Not Just a Pile of Money

Yes, I could fund everything myself. No, that’s not a sustainable strategy.

Wayne Enterprises has deep pockets, but even I have limits. We get funding from governments, private donors, and secret alien benefactors, but without a solid financial strategy, it’s like throwing batarangs into the wind. A fractional CFO helps us:

• Manage cash flow (so we don’t run out of money mid-mission)

• Allocate resources (so we aren’t spending millions on a new conference table while our space station falls apart)

• Avoid financial crises (because the Justice League should not be taking out payday loans)

3. Compliance & Taxes Are a Nightmare

Try explaining “intergalactic defense expenses” to the IRS. I dare you.

A fractional CFO handles all the boring but necessary financial regulations that keep us from getting investigated. They also make sure we’re compliant with international laws—because apparently, some countries don’t like it when a private organization launches satellites into orbit without asking.

Why a Fractional CFO Works (Instead of a Full-Time One)

• We don’t need one 24/7. A full-time CFO would be overkill, but we do need someone who can step in and make sure we aren’t running the Justice League like a failing startup.

• It’s cost-effective. Instead of paying a full executive salary, we only pay for the time and expertise we actually need.

• They don’t ask too many questions. A full-time hire might start poking around too much. A fractional CFO gets the job done and doesn’t ask why we have a “contingency fund” labeled “In Case of Doomsday”.

The Downsides (Because Of Course There Are Some)

• They work with other clients. Which means sometimes, when we urgently need financial advice (like, say, when an alien empire wants to tax our orbital station), they might be busy handling some boring corporate budget.

• They don’t live in the Watchtower. This is probably for the best, but still, having to schedule Zoom calls with someone who doesn’t fully understand the phrase “multiversal expense report” is a hassle.

• We still have to do some of the work. A fractional CFO gives guidance, but we still have to follow through. Which means I’m still stuck explaining to certain heroes that “Justice League funds are not for personal use” every time someone tries to expense a new jet. (Looking at you, Green Arrow.)

Final Verdict: Annoying but Necessary

Hiring a fractional CFO isn’t the most exciting part of running the Justice League, but it’s 100% necessary. We need financial oversight. We need accountability. We need someone to keep us from accidentally becoming a trillion-dollar black budget operation that gets shut down by world governments.

Would I rather just handle all the finances myself? Maybe. But even I know when to delegate. And if hiring a fractional CFO means I can focus on fighting crime instead of doing spreadsheets, I’ll take it.

Even if I hate the fact that they keep telling me the Batplane maintenance budget is “unsustainable.”