Let’s get one thing straight: I don’t like relying on other people. I run a multi-billion-dollar company, manage an entire vigilante operation, and still find time to brood effectively. But when it comes to taxes? No. Absolutely not. I’d rather fight Killer Croc in a sewer than try to decipher the U.S. tax code on my own.

That’s why I have a CPA. And as much as it pains me to say it, they’re worth every penny.

Reason #1: The Tax Code Is a Maze Designed by Evil People

I deal with criminals for a living, but none of them are as convoluted as the IRS. The tax code is over 7,000 pages long. Seven. Thousand. Pages. And guess what? They change it all the time. Even if I had time to read it (which I don’t), by the time I finished, Congress would have made another dozen changes just to mess with me.

A CPA stays on top of this nonsense so I don’t have to. They know the deductions, the loopholes, and the legal ways to keep my money in my pocket instead of funding government projects I don’t care about.

Reason #2: They Save Me More Than They Cost

Some people complain that CPAs are expensive. Sure. But you know what’s more expensive? Screwing up my taxes.

A good CPA finds deductions and credits I wouldn’t even know exist. They structure my finances in a way that keeps the IRS happy while maximizing my legal tax savings. Last year, mine saved me enough to buy a new Batmobile (not that I needed another one, but it’s the principle of the thing).

Reason #3: They Keep the IRS Off My Back

I already have enough people after me. The last thing I need is the IRS knocking on my cave door because I accidentally misreported income from Wayne Enterprises.

A CPA makes sure my taxes are right. No miscalculations, no missed filings, no suspicious activity that triggers an audit. And if—somehow—the IRS still decides to come after me, my CPA is the one dealing with them, not me. Because I have better things to do, like stopping the Riddler from blowing up a bridge.

Reason #4: They Handle the Annoying Stuff

Bookkeeping. Payroll. Business filings. Depreciation schedules. I don’t want to do any of it. I could—I’m Batman—but I don’t want to.

A CPA does all the financial drudgery that would otherwise eat up my time. I hand them my numbers, they make sure everything adds up, and I get to focus on what actually matters: keeping Gotham from descending into chaos.

Final Verdict: Just Get a CPA

Could I do my own taxes? Technically, yes. But so could the Joker, and I wouldn’t trust his numbers either. A CPA is one of the few people in my life who saves me more stress than they cause, and that’s saying something.

So if you’re debating whether to hire one, stop wasting time. Get a CPA. Pay them what they’re worth. And then go back to doing literally anything else, because I guarantee it’s more interesting than taxes.