I fight crime. I run a multinational corporation. I manage an underground vigilante operation. And now, apparently, I have to deal with the IRS shaking down my sidekick.
That’s right. Robin got hit with the Kiddie Tax.
Because saving Gotham isn’t hard enough, now I have to explain why the government is taxing minors like they’re spoiled trust fund brats.
I’m furious.
What Is the Kiddie Tax? (Besides an Unnecessary Pain in My Life)
The Kiddie Tax is an IRS rule designed to prevent rich parents from shifting investment income to their kids to avoid taxes. Because apparently, if you’re under 19 (or under 24 in college), your unearned income over $2,600 is taxed at your parents’ tax rate.
Let’s break that down:
If a kid makes a little money, fine.
But if they earn more than $2,600 from investments, dividends, or unearned sources? The IRS taxes it like their rich guardian earned it.
This was meant to stop rich kids from getting massive investment accounts tax-free. But guess what? It completely screws over Robin.
Why This Is Bull** for Sidekicks**
Robin earns his money. He’s not some kid sitting around collecting stock dividends—he’s literally risking his life every night.
• He’s not a trust fund kid. (I am, but that’s not the point.)
• He gets a stipend from Wayne Enterprises for “security consulting” (because you can’t exactly put “Teen Vigilante” on a tax return).
• His investment account grows because he’s responsible.
But because he made more than $2,600 in passive income (thanks to a stock portfolio I set up for him), the IRS swooped in like the worst kind of villain.
How the Kiddie Tax Screws Over Sidekicks Like Robin
1. His Investment Gains Are Taxed Like My Income
• Robin’s portfolio? Taxed at my billionaire tax rate.
• The IRS doesn’t care that he’s using this money to build a future for himself.
2. He Has to File a Separate Tax Return
• Because being a teenage vigilante isn’t stressful enough, now Robin has to file his own taxes.
• And guess who gets to help? Not Alfred. Not Oracle. Me.
3. It’s a Trap for Kids Trying to Be Financially Smart
• The IRS claims it wants people to save for their future, but if a kid invests too well, they get penalized for it.
• Instead of encouraging financial responsibility, the Kiddie Tax punishes minors for not being poor.
How I’m Fighting Back (And You Should Too)
Shifting Some of His Income to Earned Wages – If Robin earns money through actual work, it’s taxed at normal rates. That means I’ll pay him through a legitimate Wayne Enterprises job (“Strategic Youth Security Analyst” sounds official, right?).
Setting Up a Roth IRA – Investment gains grow tax-free in a Roth IRA. Robin can contribute his earnings from his actual job, and the IRS can’t touch it.
Considering a 529 Plan – If Robin goes back to college, a 529 savings plan could grow tax-free for education expenses. Not that he has time for college when he’s busy saving Gotham.
Letting Alfred Handle It – Because, honestly? I have better things to do.
Final Verdict: The IRS Is Gotham’s Real Villain
I can take down Joker. I can outsmart Lex Luthor. But the IRS? They’ll always find a way to make life miserable.
The Kiddie Tax is just another example of how the system is rigged against the people who actually work. Robin deserves better.
And if the IRS ever wants to discuss it? They know where to find me.