I have saved this city more times than I can count. I have personally funded crime prevention programs, rebuilt Gotham’s infrastructure, and spent millions keeping people safe.

But apparently, the IRS thinks the Batmobile is a “personal expense.”

That’s right. The most essential crime-fighting tool in Gotham—a tactical, armored, high-speed vehicle—is somehow not a business deduction.

I’m furious.

Why the Batmobile Should Be a Business Deduction

Let’s break this down. According to the IRS, a business expense must be:

✔ Ordinary and necessary – The Batmobile is necessary for my line of work (literally saving Gotham).

✔ Directly related to business activities – I use it only for work. You don’t see me driving it to get groceries.

✔ Not for personal use – What part of high-speed chases, crime scene response, and supervillain takedowns sounds like a personal errand?!

But no. The IRS says “no.”

The IRS’ Weak Excuses for Denial

1. “It’s Not a Commercial Vehicle”

• Oh, I’m sorry—should I slap a Wayne Enterprises logo on the side? Maybe I should get a taxi medallion?

• It transports employees. That employee is me.

2. “It’s Too Luxurious”

• Oh, I’m sorry, should I fight crime in a Toyota Corolla?

• It’s armored, not luxury. Those heated seats? Tactical temperature regulation.

3. “It Has Personal Use”

• No, it does not. I don’t take weekend road trips in the Batmobile. I don’t drive it to dinner.

• I use it exclusively for crime-fighting. This is business use.

What Can Be Deducted? (And Why It’s Ridiculous)

The IRS says:

✔ A delivery truck? Deductible.

✔ A company car for executives? Deductible.

✔ A private jet? Deductible under certain conditions.

But a custom-built, tactical, crime-fighting vehicle? No.

Unbelievable.

What’s Next?

• I’m Appealing the Decision. If billionaires can write off yachts as “business entertainment,” I should be able to write off the most important vehicle in Gotham.

• I’m Exploring Legal Loopholes. If Wayne Enterprises leases it to me as a “security vehicle,” then what?

• I Might Just Bill the City. They use taxpayer money for police cars, right? I do more work than the GCPD.

Final Thoughts: The System Is Broken

The real crime here isn’t what happens in Gotham’s streets—it’s the IRS denying me this deduction.

The next time I’m chasing Joker at 120 MPH, I’ll be thinking about this.