I don’t fight crime for money. I don’t send invoices to Gotham’s criminals. I don’t submit expense reports for Batarangs (even though I should). But every year, I have to ask myself one stupid question for tax purposes:

Is crime-fighting a hobby or a business?

Because according to the IRS, it has to be one or the other. And the answer determines whether I can actually deduct my ridiculous expenses—or if I just take another financial beating while cleaning up this city.

The IRS Hobby vs. Business Test

The IRS has rules for whether an activity is a hobby or a business. Here’s how it breaks down:

1. Do You Intend to Make a Profit?

✔ Businesses exist to make money.

✔ Hobbies cost you money.

Do I intend to make a profit? No. Fighting crime is a financial black hole. The only thing I collect is broken ribs and legal threats.

🚨 IRS Verdict: Hobby.

2. Do You Conduct Business in a Professional Manner?

✔ Businesses have records, budgets, and financial plans.

✔ Hobbies are done for personal satisfaction.

I keep detailed records. I track expenses. The Batcomputer has a better accounting system than most Fortune 500 companies.

🚨 IRS Verdict: Business.

3. Do You Depend on It for Income?

✔ Businesses pay the bills.

✔ Hobbies are side activities.

I don’t get paid. The Justice League doesn’t have salaries (yet). Every dime comes out of my own pocket.

🚨 IRS Verdict: Hobby.

4. Do You Change Strategies to Improve Profitability?

✔ Businesses adjust their methods to make more money.

✔ Hobbies don’t care about financial results.

I adapt my strategies to stop crime more efficiently, not to boost profits. My “profit margin” is measuring how many villains I put in Arkham.

🚨 IRS Verdict: Hobby.

Why This Matters (And Why I Hate It)

If crime-fighting is a business, I can deduct:

✔ Batarangs (Business supplies)

✔ Batmobile fuel (Transportation expenses)

✔ Wayne Tower’s security upgrades (Necessary for “operations”)

If it’s a hobby, I can’t deduct anything. The IRS sees it as a personal expense—which is insulting, given how much Gotham benefits from my work.

How I (Legally) Get Around This

• Wayne Enterprises R&D writes off tech development.

• The Batcave is classified as a “private security training facility.”

• Justice League LLC can now handle some operational expenses.

• Charitable donations to “crime prevention initiatives” conveniently support my work.

Final Thoughts

As far as the IRS is concerned, crime-fighting is a hobby. But if they ever audit me, I dare them to explain how me stopping The Joker isn’t a public service.

Until then, I’ll keep filing deductions and waiting for them to argue.