I fight crime. I run Wayne Enterprises. I manage the Justice League’s finances. And now? I have to pick our health insurance plan.

Apparently, superheroes still need coverage. Superman swears he doesn’t get sick, but he had an allergic reaction to red kryptonite once. Flash burns through calories at an alarming rate, which technically qualifies as a preexisting condition. And Green Lantern? Let’s just say space injuries aren’t cheap.

So here I am, comparing deductibles, premiums, and tax implications instead of stopping criminals. Because even superheroes can’t escape healthcare bureaucracy.

The Tax Considerations of Offering League Health Insurance

If we’re going to do this, I need to know how it affects our bottom line.

1. Employer-Sponsored Health Insurance is Tax-Deductible

✔ If the Justice League officially offers health insurance, our contributions count as a business expense under the IRS code.

✔ That means we can deduct the cost of premiums from League earnings (which mostly come from Wayne Enterprises… as usual).

✔ This lowers taxable income for the League, meaning I don’t have to personally fund everyone’s hospital bills.

2. Employee (Hero) Contributions Are Pre-Tax

✔ If League members chip in for their premiums, that money is deducted before taxes.

✔ That means lower taxable wages for them and lower payroll tax liabilities for the League.

✔ Wonder Woman was skeptical, but I convinced her by explaining that less money going to the IRS = more money for crime-fighting.

3. The Self-Employed Superhero Problem

🚨 Issue: Not everyone in the League is technically an employee.

• Superman? Freelancer. (Works at the Daily Planet, saves the world in his spare time.)

• Flash? Government contractor. (His work with the CCPD disqualifies him.)

• Aquaman? Literally a king. (Good luck getting him to fill out tax forms.)

Because of this, some members don’t qualify for traditional employer-sponsored plans. Instead, they’ll need to set up a self-employed health insurance deduction—which, thankfully, lets them deduct 100% of their premiums.

4. The “Superhero Risk Factor” Problem

🚨 Another Issue: Insurance companies don’t like high-risk professions.

• Fighting intergalactic threats = high-risk occupation.

• Getting thrown through buildings regularly = even higher risk.

• Insurers typically exclude coverage for injuries sustained while committing illegal activities.

• Since vigilantism is technically illegal, I had to negotiate a custom coverage plan that doesn’t disqualify us. (Yes, I have lawyers for this.)

5. HSA (Health Savings Accounts) for the League

✔ HSA-eligible plans mean members can contribute to a tax-free savings account for medical expenses.

✔ Contributions reduce taxable income AND roll over indefinitely.

✔ Green Arrow tried to ask if he could use it for archery-related injuries. The answer is yes.

Final Thoughts

The Justice League now has a real health insurance plan. It’s tax-deductible, covers high-risk injuries, and won’t bankrupt me personally every time someone gets punched through a wall.

This was not the job I signed up for. But if it keeps the team running, fine.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go remind Superman to file his self-employment tax deductions. Again.