Gotham never sleeps. Crime never stops. And now, apparently, the Justice League has to deal with HR policies.

Wonder Woman is taking maternity leave. Good for her. Bad for me. Because now, I’m the one handling the League’s workload while everyone debates benefits, coverage, and short-term disability.

I don’t have time for this. But since I’ve been voluntold to figure it out, here’s what I’ve learned.

How Short-Term Disability Can Help a Superhero

Unlike the rest of us, Diana doesn’t work a desk job. She fights gods, defends Earth, and somehow still manages to make it to League meetings on time. But even Amazons need time to recover. That’s where short-term disability insurance comes in.

• Partial Income Replacement – Since she won’t be in active duty for a while, short-term disability ensures she still gets paid. Because apparently, even superheroes need a paycheck.

• Medical Recovery Coverage – While Diana’s Amazonian physiology means she’ll bounce back faster than a human, standard medical leave rules still apply. No, Superman, she can’t just ‘walk it off.’

• Job Protection – The Justice League doesn’t do layoffs, but having official leave policies in place prevents chaos. If we didn’t have a system, Green Lantern would have already tried to recruit a replacement.

The Real Problem: The Justice League Workload

Let’s be honest—short-term disability is not my issue here. My issue is that now I have to pick up the slack.

With Diana on leave, everything falls on me:

• More League meetings (I don’t do meetings.)

• More diplomatic work (I really don’t do diplomacy.)

• More off-world emergencies (Apparently, I have to deal with Themysciran politics now.)

Meanwhile, Flash is already suggesting a “paternity leave” policy for when he “inevitably finds the right speedster.” No. Just—no.

Final Thoughts

I respect Diana. She’s earned this. But I swear, if one more League member asks me about “family leave policies,” I’m going to fake my own disappearance.

…Actually, that’s not a bad idea.

Either way, she’ll be back soon. Until then, I’m billing every extra hour to the Justice League.